Selfishness

About 6 and a half months ago I was driving along and I came to a fork in the road. The road to the left was named "Nathan" and the road to the right was named "Brandie". I had so many voices telling me that I should go left...but if I took that turn I wouldnt be able to turn around. I stood there for awhile staring at the names of the two roads. I saw that the one named Brandie offered more happiness, not because it was a nice road, but because I saw it needed travel. I wanted to offer it all the happiness I could. I wanted to walk down that road and never turn back. The other road named Nathan had had its wear and tear...it was time to travel another road...........Maybe this is a weird way of saying it but thats for you, my wife, to decide ;) What Im getting at is that I chose to marry you, not to make me happy, but to make YOU happy. Yes Im the happiest man in the world because I married you, but when it all comes down to it, I just want to put you first in my life. That's what couples do. They put each other first. :) Putting you first in my life makes me happy, because I love seeing how happy I make you. I love you baby...so so much. MY MAIN POINT IS, I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE, NOW IM LIVING FOR YOU :) My goal in life is to put you first above everything else, especially myself...I love you and want you to be happy more than anything...I have a lil thing I want us both to do for each other today or tommorrow...I want to sit down for maybe like 5 minutes with a piece of paper and pen and just write a list, a list of attributes that we like about each other. And when were done we share it with each other. Lets both do one and Ill let you decide if you want to post it up here or if youd like to keep them just between us two. :) I love you Sweet Tea! I cant wait to see it...XOXOXO

Patience

Im not even sure what to put for the title of this post...ill think of that later. Ive been thinking about you all day. How much we love each other and I honest to God believe that we are one of the most amazing and wonderful marriages this world will ever see! We are meant to be together always and forever. Our lives no longer two but one...Im just going to spill my a few thoughts from my heart on you baby and think of a title later... ;)
I remember when we first met. As soon as I saw you I couldn't help but smile, I remember how beautiful you looked there wearing your cowboy boots and your carhartt winter coat and the scarf around your neck. Your bright blond hair spilling down your back and a similar smile on your face. I knew I loved you right away.
Now we are married, I am deployed, we have some trouble, but we have worked through it. We are learning to be patient with each other. Patience is one of the pillars in love. Any relationship will be tried by anger or frustration but patience calms people down. It gives each person the extra time to think about how they are acting or reacting and we learn to better ourselves and in turn our relationship and our marriage. Im so glad that we are learning patience. Our love means nothing to us if we dont fight for it and we are fighting for it! We both love each other so much. I see it every day...every time I look at a picture of you smiling at me, every time I see those pictures of you on our wedding day, I know it wasnt me making you happy, but it is my love that makes you happy. Im not perfect, youre not perfect, but together we complete each other and continue to teach each other how to come closer together and more perfect for one another. A deployment is rough because we are newlyweds and we still have a lot to learn about one another, but we are doing well. So long as we stay patient with one another. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. We are both learning. I have trouble doing this too. But everyone does at first. We are learning, learning together, to work together, be there together, and live together, and love together.
Brandie you are an amazing woman. And you grow more amazing every day. Im overjoyed that I get to spend my life side by side with you and each day admire more and more the amazing woman, wife, and mother you are becoming. Im with you every step of the way.
Hard times are never over, they will come, but with each time, if we stick together and push our way through the hard times, we will always come out together, always and forever.
Im so glad I have you, Im so glad I can be there for you, I wish I were home right now. Home to give you that love and affection you deserve. I love you darling, I'll be home soon. Just be patient...Muah!!! <3

P.S. We have come so far...now over 6 months being married! Those have been the 6 most happy months of my life! Those 187 days...those 4499 hours...those 269940 minutes...those 16196400 seconds that I have been married to you are the happiest of my life...and they are continuing on this very second... And they get happier and happier the more I realize, I am married to YOU!!! I love you Brandie.

Come Home Soon

I heard this on the radio today while I was on the way home from Wal-Mart after picking up a few groceries... Needless to say that I had to pull over into a Family Dollar parking lot because I was crying so hard I could barely see to drive. Everytime I hear this song I can't help but think about you and wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have you in it... I couldn't ever imagine my life without you Nathan. I am so sorry for all the fighting and arguing and the hard times we keep having lately. You know that I love you and I always will, no matter what happenes in our lives, I will always be yours! I love you so much... Come home soon... 




I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed

I don't know what you're doin'
And I don't know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you're wishin' on that same
bright star

I wonder, I pray

[Chorus:]
And I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard livin' here on my own
So please, come home soon
(Come home soon)

I know that we're together
Even though we're far apart
And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck
Pressed to my heart

I wonder, I pray

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I still imagine your touch
It's beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

I wonder, I pray

[Second Chorus:]
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you this house is not a home
So please, come home soon

[Third Chorus:]
I walk alone
I try alone
I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone
So please, come home soon

Come home soon
Come home soon

Bored lol

Well, Im on here waiting for my 150+ pics to download to facebook so I decided Id wait and post something on the blog just to pass the time. And give you something to read during the next month or months while Im gone.
Lately Ive been reading a lot, eating more, today was steak night WOOT WOOT! lol and they actually cook a pretttttyy good steak here :) I still miss my wifes home cooked meals though. Not so sure she misses mine on the other hand! Today we went down to PHQ police head quarters and took some fingerprints of a man they had captured and I apologize but thats all I can say about it on here...it was interesting though. Coming up is the 15th of Oct which marks my 3 months of this deployment overwith! Thank God! and the next day the 16th of Oct marks mine and Brandie's 6 month anniversary. Congratulations baby! Im so happy that we are together proving wrong everyone who said we couldnt and wouldnt last. Well be fine because we both love each other more than anything else. And by the time I get back from this long mission Im about to depart on if we come back in a month I will be close to halfway done here...so happy. Well, this stupid computer is about to reboot again. makes me wanna swear! lol well, im gonna save my progress and just post this now :P goodnight and I love you Babydoll. Talk to you again soon. Muah!

Heading out

Well, just a few more days left and Ill be gone. Im going to miss you even more. Right now its 0530. I keep waking up having nightmares and cant sleep so I decided to come up here and write you. I hope your day went well and you had fun. I miss you. Im not sure how long Im going to be gone but Ill be careful. I love you. Talk to you later baby!