The Notebook

"My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah"



**I know this is not a letter written directly to me or either of us but I was watching this movie (The Notebook) and all I could do the entire time was cry my eyes out!  I have read this over and over and over again and I realized that we have that kind of love, "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds". This is exactly how you make me feel, everyday since the day I met you, this is how you have made my life! You have put so much love and fire in to my heart and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without that fire. Nathan, you are not only the most amazing and wonderful husband a woman could ever dream for but you are also my best friend. You have become my entire life and the only thing that truly matters to me (other than our little Honey Bee). I can truly and honestly say that you are my soul mate, and I don't ever want to spend my life without you. I know our lives haven't turned out the way we had hoped or wished for, and I am sorry we have had to spend so much time apart from one another. You will be home soon baby, and our lives will be perfect again. I love you and I'll be seeing you soon. I miss you and love you. 


Your loving wife

Selfishness

About 6 and a half months ago I was driving along and I came to a fork in the road. The road to the left was named "Nathan" and the road to the right was named "Brandie". I had so many voices telling me that I should go left...but if I took that turn I wouldnt be able to turn around. I stood there for awhile staring at the names of the two roads. I saw that the one named Brandie offered more happiness, not because it was a nice road, but because I saw it needed travel. I wanted to offer it all the happiness I could. I wanted to walk down that road and never turn back. The other road named Nathan had had its wear and tear...it was time to travel another road...........Maybe this is a weird way of saying it but thats for you, my wife, to decide ;) What Im getting at is that I chose to marry you, not to make me happy, but to make YOU happy. Yes Im the happiest man in the world because I married you, but when it all comes down to it, I just want to put you first in my life. That's what couples do. They put each other first. :) Putting you first in my life makes me happy, because I love seeing how happy I make you. I love you baby...so so much. MY MAIN POINT IS, I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE, NOW IM LIVING FOR YOU :) My goal in life is to put you first above everything else, especially myself...I love you and want you to be happy more than anything...I have a lil thing I want us both to do for each other today or tommorrow...I want to sit down for maybe like 5 minutes with a piece of paper and pen and just write a list, a list of attributes that we like about each other. And when were done we share it with each other. Lets both do one and Ill let you decide if you want to post it up here or if youd like to keep them just between us two. :) I love you Sweet Tea! I cant wait to see it...XOXOXO

Patience

Im not even sure what to put for the title of this post...ill think of that later. Ive been thinking about you all day. How much we love each other and I honest to God believe that we are one of the most amazing and wonderful marriages this world will ever see! We are meant to be together always and forever. Our lives no longer two but one...Im just going to spill my a few thoughts from my heart on you baby and think of a title later... ;)
I remember when we first met. As soon as I saw you I couldn't help but smile, I remember how beautiful you looked there wearing your cowboy boots and your carhartt winter coat and the scarf around your neck. Your bright blond hair spilling down your back and a similar smile on your face. I knew I loved you right away.
Now we are married, I am deployed, we have some trouble, but we have worked through it. We are learning to be patient with each other. Patience is one of the pillars in love. Any relationship will be tried by anger or frustration but patience calms people down. It gives each person the extra time to think about how they are acting or reacting and we learn to better ourselves and in turn our relationship and our marriage. Im so glad that we are learning patience. Our love means nothing to us if we dont fight for it and we are fighting for it! We both love each other so much. I see it every day...every time I look at a picture of you smiling at me, every time I see those pictures of you on our wedding day, I know it wasnt me making you happy, but it is my love that makes you happy. Im not perfect, youre not perfect, but together we complete each other and continue to teach each other how to come closer together and more perfect for one another. A deployment is rough because we are newlyweds and we still have a lot to learn about one another, but we are doing well. So long as we stay patient with one another. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. We are both learning. I have trouble doing this too. But everyone does at first. We are learning, learning together, to work together, be there together, and live together, and love together.
Brandie you are an amazing woman. And you grow more amazing every day. Im overjoyed that I get to spend my life side by side with you and each day admire more and more the amazing woman, wife, and mother you are becoming. Im with you every step of the way.
Hard times are never over, they will come, but with each time, if we stick together and push our way through the hard times, we will always come out together, always and forever.
Im so glad I have you, Im so glad I can be there for you, I wish I were home right now. Home to give you that love and affection you deserve. I love you darling, I'll be home soon. Just be patient...Muah!!! <3

P.S. We have come so far...now over 6 months being married! Those have been the 6 most happy months of my life! Those 187 days...those 4499 hours...those 269940 minutes...those 16196400 seconds that I have been married to you are the happiest of my life...and they are continuing on this very second... And they get happier and happier the more I realize, I am married to YOU!!! I love you Brandie.

Come Home Soon

I heard this on the radio today while I was on the way home from Wal-Mart after picking up a few groceries... Needless to say that I had to pull over into a Family Dollar parking lot because I was crying so hard I could barely see to drive. Everytime I hear this song I can't help but think about you and wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have you in it... I couldn't ever imagine my life without you Nathan. I am so sorry for all the fighting and arguing and the hard times we keep having lately. You know that I love you and I always will, no matter what happenes in our lives, I will always be yours! I love you so much... Come home soon... 




I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed

I don't know what you're doin'
And I don't know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you're wishin' on that same
bright star

I wonder, I pray

[Chorus:]
And I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard livin' here on my own
So please, come home soon
(Come home soon)

I know that we're together
Even though we're far apart
And I'll wear our lucky penny 'round my neck
Pressed to my heart

I wonder, I pray

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I still imagine your touch
It's beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

I wonder, I pray

[Second Chorus:]
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you this house is not a home
So please, come home soon

[Third Chorus:]
I walk alone
I try alone
I'll wait for you, don't want to die alone
So please, come home soon

Come home soon
Come home soon

Bored lol

Well, Im on here waiting for my 150+ pics to download to facebook so I decided Id wait and post something on the blog just to pass the time. And give you something to read during the next month or months while Im gone.
Lately Ive been reading a lot, eating more, today was steak night WOOT WOOT! lol and they actually cook a pretttttyy good steak here :) I still miss my wifes home cooked meals though. Not so sure she misses mine on the other hand! Today we went down to PHQ police head quarters and took some fingerprints of a man they had captured and I apologize but thats all I can say about it on here...it was interesting though. Coming up is the 15th of Oct which marks my 3 months of this deployment overwith! Thank God! and the next day the 16th of Oct marks mine and Brandie's 6 month anniversary. Congratulations baby! Im so happy that we are together proving wrong everyone who said we couldnt and wouldnt last. Well be fine because we both love each other more than anything else. And by the time I get back from this long mission Im about to depart on if we come back in a month I will be close to halfway done here...so happy. Well, this stupid computer is about to reboot again. makes me wanna swear! lol well, im gonna save my progress and just post this now :P goodnight and I love you Babydoll. Talk to you again soon. Muah!

Heading out

Well, just a few more days left and Ill be gone. Im going to miss you even more. Right now its 0530. I keep waking up having nightmares and cant sleep so I decided to come up here and write you. I hope your day went well and you had fun. I miss you. Im not sure how long Im going to be gone but Ill be careful. I love you. Talk to you later baby!

Happy Birthday!!!

Tommorrow is my babys birthday!! Happy birthday Brandie! I love you so much! Youre nineteen now and looking more beautiful than ever :) I love you so much! I wish we could talk more and I could hear about all your wonderful adventures and stuff youre doing these days. I miss being there to experience them with you :( I cant wait to hear about all the fun times youve had and there had better be pictures to look at when I get home lol I love you so much baby! Happy birthday to the greatest wife there ever was!!! MUAH!!!!

True Love

True love is something that people search for their whole lives, that people when they find it are willing to do anything even die for it. Brandie and I like so many other people had those people in our lives who we thought we had discovered to be our one and only true love. And yet deep down somehow we always knew it wasnt that person, but wed try and convince ourselves they were. But its like everyone says...it really hits you once you meet that one person you are meant to be with forever. Once you meet them its like something just clicks inside your head and tells you "you know they are your soulmate, go for it. Dont pass this one up! Theyre perfect for you! You complete each other." Thank God for that little voice :) I heard it as soon as I first laid eyes on Brandie! I knew that she was perfect for me and that we were meant to be together. She was the only one that would ever make me truly happy in life. But even without that voice telling me that she was the one I was to marry...I would have known right away...like I did, that Brandie and I were meant for each other. There may be no such thing as a perfect marriage due to arguing or mistakes things like that, but there is such a thing as perfect love, true love. And THAT, is something that Brandie and I share together. We are each others' one true love, each others' one True North. I love you Brandie. Youll always be my one and only Sweet Tea from the South ;) always and forever. MUAH!!!!!

Miss you!

Hey my baby boy... I am up a little early this morning working on Mary Kay stuff for a little bit then I was gonna get some more sleep afterward but I wanted to leave you a little note for you to read when you possibly got on!

Well here goes... It is currently about 9:00 am (unfortunately) and I am still about half asleep so bare with me a little! I am up because my Mary Kay Director called me asking about how my second order went and I had to do a few things to finish with my paper work.

I miss you baby, I know our lives keep seeming like they are all messed up and that we keep fighting and having our troubles but I promise when you get home that things will be back to normal and our lives and marriage will be perfect again. You know I love you more than anything and I can't wait until you get back home. You know I am so excited to have a baby with you, I can't wait until we can finally be parents and have a family to raise ourselves. I know everything is not going to be perfect in our family and I imagine there will be times when we might want to kill each other or our children but I know we can get through it and be there for one another. I know that love me and always will, I love you more than anything and you know that no matter what happens in our lives I will always be here for you! I love you, always and forever! You are my one true North.

In My Arms, In My Heart

I was lonely and somewhat lost
I wanted a companion and friend, nothing more
I took the plunge, in I stepped
Nervous and unsure, I waded in

Unexperienced and quite unsure
Feeling trepidation, I wondered if I did right
Feeling shy but needing a ladies company
I took a chance, to see what would occur

Surprise, shock and so much joy
I found the woman of my dreams, I won first prize
Gentle, caring, trusting and sensuous, along you came
Into my life, you brought happiness, fulfilment
And everything I had secretly yearned for

Not sure how I would cope and react
From that first meeting I was complete
Such emotions flowed through me
That I believed I would never feel

Beauty, tenderness, faith, desire and love came fast
All my hidden dreams were answered
By your marvellous presence

From that first meeting, who would believe
Such a strong romance would start
When we are together all I need
Is in my arms, in my heart
That is where you are and will forever be...
Always and Forever
I love you

To Make You Feel My Love...

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

*I love you baby, always and forever...

Firsts

I remember the day that we first met I couldnt believe how beautiful you were. I remember the first time we hung out was a fun day with lots of laughing. That first hug was the warmest Id ever felt. The first stare into my eyes trying to figure out what I was thinking. When we first expressed how much we loved each other it was like I finally found what my life was all about. First time we kissed my heart beat harder than ever before. When we were first engaged I felt so much closer to you and my purpose in this world. When I first put that wedding band on your hand on April 16th 2011 I knew that my life was just beginning. And now I have you, my FIRST love, and my last love, my only love, to spend eternity with :) What are some firsts you remember :)

Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

I know you are wondering why I wrote this. Here goes, every time I hear this verse out of the Bible, you are all I think about. You know why? Because this is us! This particular verse describes our life together, our marriage, and our love for one another down to a T! Please no matter what we ever go through in our lives, and in our marriage, never forget that "Love never fails", our love will never fail!! I love you Nathan Kyle Penn, I can't wait to start our family and grow old together... You truly are the love of my life, my soul mate and my "One True North!" I'll love you, always and forever!

Marry Me

"Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like Ive had long enough with you...
I promise to sing to you
When all the music dies"

Baby the day I married you is a day I can never forget. Because its the day that my life began. A life with you at my side. I love you. <3

Inseperable

Idle Dreams

In idle dreams of long ago,
I imagined my true love;
A perfect match, a soulmate,
An angel from above. Now you’re here, and now I know
Our love will stay and thrive and grow.

Good thing about us ;)

I wanted to take a moment to talk about something that we hate to do but love to do. We have our arguments...what couple doesnt? But the good thing about Brandie and I is, we always resolve the situation. We hate being mad or upset at the other. We miss that love in each others eyes. We still love each other through every argument. Maybe we hate what the other did but forgiveness is key in any relationship and we both forgive because we do not want anything to get in the way of our relationship. Compared to a lot of marriages out there these days ours is wonderful :) I am so blessed to have such a loving wife who puts up with my stupid self all the time ;) We each make mistakes but we each forgive and put it behind us. No grudges, no anger leftover for the next day. Our love is pure. Our love is gentle. Our love is kind. Our love can be tested, but never broken. I love you so much my Sweet Tea. I cant wait to talk to you today! :) Thankyou for being such an amazing woman!

Missin you like crazy

Darling Ive been gone for one and one-half months now. I cant believe how time flies. I wish right now I was back at home with you curled up in bed with your head on my chest. I miss just having my arm around you and keepin you close as we doze off together. You rollin over and stealin all the blankets halfway through the night ;) Sometimes even if Im freezin cold I cant help but just laugh at how cute you are even when you're sleeping. I love you so much babydoll. I wish I could be home with you right now. Goodnight and sweet dreams my princess...

All I Can Say

Baby, all I can say is that you are the greatest woman a guy could ask for as his wife, and I am the luckiest man in the world to call you my wife. I love you more than anything.

Short and curly

Nope I aint talking about a pigtail ;) I'm talking about my babies new haircut :) I think she looks sooooo cute, cute as a button on a golden thread!! I love your new hairstyle and I think you look amazing! I know you were afraid I wouldn't like it but I do!!! I love it!!! I cant get over how good it looks on you you! Baby youre the most beautiful woman on Earth :) You must be an angel made for me!!! Muah!!

The Love of My Life!!

I will admit that our relationship wasn't something we ever thought would have become what it did because of the circumstances at the time but it ended up being something truly more amazing than I had ever hoped for! We started out as friends and within a matter of some little time, we became the best of friends... I can't even begin to explain how happy I am now. April 16, 2011 I had the chance to make the best decision of my life, I got to marry my best friend. I honestly couldn't imagine how my life would be like now if I hadn't of made that decision on that day! I couldn't imagine my life without my best friend, I honestly know that I couldn't live without him in my life!! I know you are thousands of miles away baby, but I can't wait until you are home so we can begin our lives together and so hopefully we can start our family!! I am so in love with you baby, Always and Forever!!

Oh so lonely

Sitting in Afghanistan is bad enough but being away from the one you love more than anything has the most lonely of all things in life. Not a minute goes by I'm not thinking of her and wishing I was home with her. Shes my life, thoughts, and dreams. I miss her more than anything.
Brandie I miss you and love you like nothing ever before in my life!! You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel so lonely without you and can't wait to come home and jump off that bus and run to you and hold you tighter than ever in my arms!! I miss you like crazy my baby. I can't wait for you to make this loneliness go away...

Lovin you every day... <3